My TEDx Fountain Hills talk has finally been released!
You can watch it here.
When I saw the link in my inbox, I was SO excited and yet right on the heels of excitement was… FEAR.
Fear that I’d actually tanked it.
Sure, I thought I remembered hearing the crowd laughing and people nodding as I’d delivered my talk live. But, what if I’d imagined it or they had just been polite and it actually SUCKED?
Of course, there was no going back at this point.
If I’d bombed my talk, the evidence was on video and would be on the TED site in perpetuity.
May as well find out how it had gone down, right?
I’d planned to crack open a bottle of bubbly and sip a glass while I watched my video, but when the moment to click PLAY came, I found myself too NERVOUS.
The same nervousness I’d felt when I first stepped onto the stage.
The kind that makes your voice go up a few octaves and you suspect that everyone can see you shaking.
Just like the day I’d delivered my talk, I felt those same familiar things, but I forged ahead anyway.
Once I’d watched the video, I felt RELIEVED!
Relieved that I’d composed myself with dignity and delivered my idea clearly.
The next thing I felt was GRATITUDE.
Gratitude for all the people who had made it possible for me to even be on that stage…nerves and all.
Without my community of supporters, instead of being on stage in my beautiful red dress, I would have been home in bed with red, puffy eyes.
(If you missed the edition of The Field Notes where I revealed the crushing circumstances that unfolded just 48-hours before my talk, you can access the archive here)
I also felt PRIDE.
Pride that I had not allowed the painful circumstances of my life control me and keep me from delivering my message. A message that I’m certain will help others change the world by finding the courage to use their conventional skills in unconventional ways.
It was a rough day emotionally, but when I look back at that video, I can see that I was exactly where I was meant to be that day.
The fact that I’m glowing in all the photos from that day proves to me that it doesn’t matter what is happening around you.
What does matter, is what is happening WITHIN you.
What was happening WITHIN me that day was, instead of letting things I could not control break me down, I was allowing them to break me OPEN.
I stepped onto that stage broken.
And, it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for being a part of my journey. Hit reply and let me know what you are up to and how I can help so I can become a part of yours.
Until next week,
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