With the changing of the leaves happening in my corner of the world, it seems like the perfect time to talk about change.
I’d really like to put on a beatific smile and demonstrate that I have this whole change thing figured out by gracefully embracing all changes, no matter how messy or uncomfortable, and without shedding tears or getting my panties in a wad.
Sorry to disappoint, but I’m just not that enlightened.
I’d venture to say that like me you’re all for change when clearly receiving an upgrade, however when the outcome of change is uncertain, well…it’s a lot tougher to embrace it with enthusiasm, isn’t it?
As you’ve probably read before, I’m a HUGE fan of the Choose Your Own Adventure series of books. I’ll be talking about them a lot this month. If you’re unfamiliar with these books, they’re the quickest way I know of to get present to your relationship to choice, risk, and change (tip: look for them at your local library).
Recently, I chose to take a detour from my Purse Process® on Tour to be with my family so this little introvert could recharge.
I hadn’t expected this, and it meant I’d have to change my plans.
Quite honestly, this felt scary.
The crazy voices in my head started asking questions like: Does this mean you are giving up? Are you going to let a little fatigue get the best of you? Won’t people think you are a failure and flake? What about the people you promised to meet up with? What about THEM? Are you willing to disappoint THEM by changing your plans?
Sometimes you need to make a change where the outcome of your choice is uncertain, where you might be vulnerable to judgment, or where you will knowingly disappoint or even hurt someone else.
So how do you handle choices and changes like this so that everything turns out okay, you don’t look bad, and no one is disappointed or hurt by your choice?
What’s a girl to do?
What?? Are you asking MOI???
Sorry, chickies I don’t have THE answer.
What I can share is how I’ve dealt with changes like this.
When faced with a scary change, I remember my favorite definition of power.
Power: Being free to be yourself, speak your truth, and accept what comes.
For me, doing what I know I need to do for myself is a higher priority than making someone else okay with my choices.
I know that may come off sounding bitchy in writing, but if you’ve met me you know that I’m not really a bitchy type of gal at all.
In fact, I’m better known for being quite loving. However, I’ve heard it enough times to know that there is something about me that can be hard to put your finger on.
I’ll let you in on a secret and tell you what that “something” is.
It’s called boundaries.
And when you’ve got them, you are free to love, to listen, to give and receive freely, because you know and honor your limits.
Healthy boundaries are the powerful missing piece to creating the kind of zesty life and deep relationships you really want.
Since I’ve been in Indiana, I’ve pretty much been reveling in the luxury of holing up in the house and cooking comfort foods like this fried chicken. I’ve been invited to get together with people (especially if I’ll bring chicken), but I’ve almost universally declined those invitations because I just wasn’t feeling up to it.
I did make an exception the day I received the unexpected opportunity to be on TV to promote a woman’s event I’m speaking at later this month. Yes, I decided I was willing to wipe the chicken grease from my mouth and put my red lipstick on long enough to help promote a good cause.
So how do YOU deal with change? Make choices or define power?
If you need some clarity schedule a Clarity Call with me for just $37.00 here. You wouldn’t be the first woman to hang up feeling like that was the best money you’ve ever spent. What’s $37.00 dollars to you? Like six lattes? Seriously. Book your call now and let’s chat.
If something I’ve shared spoke to you share your insight with me by sending me an email through the contact page.
Until next time, Adventure On!
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