Are you curious about me?
Get the speedy 100 word version on my bio page.
The story below is for those who want to settle in with a cup of tea and read the juicy story behind the story.
Let’s dig in!
So, my journey to today began back when I flipped out over plain white panties.
Yes, I am going to begin our relationship by sharing a story about my underwear…
When I was about three years old, my mom came home with a brand new package of plain white panties for me.
I stomped my tiny foot and declared with tears streaming down my face, “I will NEVER wear them!”
Then, in typical three year old fashion, I proceeded to throw a tantrum…of course that was followed by me being sent to my room for a time-out.
Why did I have a complete meltdown over white panties???
Answer: I wanted and needed PINK panties!
In my mind, white panties were UGLY and pink panties were PRETTY.
I didn’t want to wear something that made me feel like less than my beautiful self.
After a thorough scolding, my father made me apologize to my mother for being “ungrateful”.
I felt so angry for having to do this because I knew it wasn’t wrong to want to feel pretty and I wasn’t one bit sorry.
Plus, I didn’t know what ungrateful meant at the time, but it felt bad and would become something I was accused of over and over as I grew up.
I can laugh about it now, but at the time I can tell you it felt terrible.
The thing is, I truly wasn’t ungrateful.
I just knew what I wanted and needed and what felt right for me.
I wanted to feel pretty, fancy, and special.
As I grew up, I figured out that what I wanted didn’t count that much. I was at the mercy of the adults in my life.
Being a natural problem-solver, I quickly reasoned that the best way to get what I wanted was to be a “good girl” and do what people expected of me.
For good measure, I took things a step further and did more than was expected of me.
I graduated from high school a year early, got myself a steady boyfriend by age 15, held a job from the time I was 16, was the first person in my family to go to college, earned a graduate degree–graduating magna cum laude, and got married to a nice guy.
I did everything right, but I wasn’t really happy.
My logic was, “Once I do all this stuff I’m “supposed to do,” then I can follow my heart and no one will be able to fault or criticize me.”
“I’ll have earned the right to do what I really want, right?”
One day, I realized that society’s requirements would never end…not unless I ended MY need to fulfill them.
There would always be another hoop I would be asked to jump through, someone else to please, some rational excuse to go along with “the program,” some reason I couldn’t do what I wanted, some vague cultural idea about gratitude that encouraged me to settle.
I wasn’t going to get permission to do my own thing or go my own way from anyone but me.
I could feel that I was going to die unfulfilled if I didn’t do something about the crushing emptiness building inside.
In my 20s, I made a decision that life was too short to live like this and I broke free.
My first act of freedom was to become a yoga teacher instead of using my advanced degree in anthropology.
This worked for me for a while because it gave me flexibility in my schedule, I got to wear comfy clothes to work, and I was helping change people’s lives.
Sounds pretty good, right?
I was a great yoga teacher, and I still run into former students who tell me how my classes helped them love and accept themselves through everything from grief over the loss of a husband to the joyful shedding of 60 pounds of excess weight.
It still warms my heart to run into these students years later. They taught me so much.
Everything I needed to know about coaching I learned on the mat.
After a while, I realized that teaching yoga classes wasn’t allowing me to take care of myself financially.
You see, I had run up an embarrassing amount of debt during my college years, not only from student loans, but also credit cards.
The few classes I was teaching each week didn’t cover my bills, and I was getting deeper and deeper into debt by using cash advances from one card to pay the minimum monthly payment on another.
The old “Robbing Peter to pay Paul” trick.
I don’t recommend it.
To increase my income, I tried striking out on my own.
I created a successful mobile yoga studio and traveled around my area providing private in-home yoga classes.
Through this experience I learned how to run a business and what it takes to be an entrepreneur.
I loved working with clients one on one and being able to get to know them and their families, so this fulfilled me for a time.
But before long, I grew restless and bored.
I had a gnawing feeling inside there was something bigger I was supposed to be doing than hiding out teaching yoga in people’s basements.
When I told people about my company they were impressed by the amount of fun and freedom I had in my job and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t completely happy with what I had created.
How could I be so ungrateful–ugh that word again!
Seriously, what more could I possibly want?
At least I wasn’t sitting at a desk from 9-5 like them, right?
What they couldn’t understand was that I was bleeding out internally from the creative hole in my heart.
I needed to go my own way and do my own thing.
I wanted to do good work in the world, but I also knew I needed it to come from inside of me, not from somebody else’s system.
I had to make a choice to do things differently, no matter what the cost.
The pain was bad enough I was willing to risk losing it all on the off chance that I might be able to dig something out from inside of me that would make an important and unique contribution to the world.
I began the process of shutting down my old business before I had a definite plan of what I would do next.
I was TERRIFIED, but I also knew I was smart, capable, and strong so I chose to step out in faith and trust that my heart would lead the way.
I also knew that I could help more people by doing what I was meant to do than by doing what I was supposed to do.
And you know what happened?
I had clients within months of making my decision to forget about doing what made “sense” and simply follow my natural instincts to help women by really listening to them and supporting them as they stretched themselves way outside their comfort zone.
Based on my training as an anthropologist, I eventually created a one of a kind process, called The Purse Process®.
My proprietary process is unique in the world and allows me to help smart highly-capable women like you ditch the emotional baggage that has you spinning your wheels and deftly skirt the mental obstacles that have kept you boxed in so you can create fulfilling work, relationships, and a lifestyle way outside the ordinary.
Before I knew it, I had climbed the proverbial mountain and was loving my life!
Since then, blogs and articles have been written about my signature Purse Process® , I’ve spoken and shared the Purse Process® from the stage and on the radio, I’ve been featured on TV, become a TEDx Speaker, and in 2014 I traveled the country sharing my work, and am having a much more amazing life than I could ever have had by continuing to be a “good girl” and doing the “right things” that made sense.
Today, this pint-sized anthropologist in a dress is not just the creator of the Purse Process®, but also a global provocateur, professional muse, and choose your own adventurer.
Sharing The Purse Process®, going where my enthusiasm leads, and teaching the power of following what makes your eyes light up is what I was born to do.
Do you know what you’ve been waiting to do?
Your desires are your soul speaking to you. Are you ready to listen?
Thanks for reading my story. You can opt-in to stay in touch and receive a copy of The Purse Process® Pursonality Profiles here.