Before I created the Purse Process™ and became the only Coach/Anthropologist I know, I had another business. If you’d like to read about it, that tale is included on my about me page.
I ran that company for many years, and for some of those years the fact that I was helping people (even though I wasn’t making as much money as I’d like) was enough to fulfill me.
As the years went by, my enthusiasm for the work dwindled and I became more and more resentful with each passing year that I wasn’t making enough money to meet my financial and lifestyle goals. Why wasn’t I more successful by now? Why did life feel so hard?
Honestly, I felt completely stuck and stagnant in my work. Not to mention I felt guilty for not appreciating what most people would see as a pretty sweet gig. I had freedom, flexibility, and got to work with people I loved. And yet, I was miserable!
Of course I didn’t share this thought with anyone. How could I? I didn’t know what else I could do and I felt I had to keep doing that business:
– Because I needed a source of income
– Because I was known for it, and
– Because it gave me a good life (by other peoples standards)
Eventually, I got so tired of not loving my work and not having the kind of money I wanted I just knew I had to do something about it.
I decided I needed to learn how to make the money I wanted to make doing what I already knew how to do. I resolved to grow my current business, figuring that if I just made more money at it I’d be happier and feel more enthusiasm for getting up in the morning (SPOILER ALERT: I was WRONG!).
So, I hired myself a business coach. Why? Well, I desperately wished for someone to look me in the eye and say, “Danielle, I can see you’re really great at this and I can also see that you’ve outgrown it. In fact, you’re way too big for this girl! You should be doing X!” I thought that any coach worth her salt would see that in me and help me move forward with my life.
This was a huge mistake! An expensive one, too. Read my words…DO NOT DO WHAT I DID! I can’t tell you how many people I have met who have hired a business coach and been disappointed with the results, just like I was. Now you may be thinking, “But Danielle, YOU coach women in business! Are you telling me not to hire people like you?”
Maybe, and let me tell you why. Recognizing other peoples desires is unique skill. I’d go so far as to call it a rare gift.
I hired a business coach because I thought she would immediately recognize that I was way too big for what I was doing and would point this out to me and steer me in the right direction. Turns out I was wrong.
The thing is, most business coaches do not even have this issue on their radar.
Like most business coaches I’ve met since then, my coach’s focus was on giving me effective tools and strategies to build whatever business it was I told her I wanted to build (as it should be, but I didn’t understand that at the time). She never asked me if what I was doing was what I really wanted to do. She had no idea that I no longer wanted to be in the business I was in, and honestly, she wasn’t equipped to help me figure out what I did want to do, even if she had asked.
There are a lot of brilliant business coaches out there who’s tools and strategies are absolutely helpful. But what do you get when you use those fabulous tips and strategies to build something you don’t actually want?
I can answer that question from experience.
You get an expensive lesson in growing a business that doesn’t fulfill your desires.
Money really can’t buy happiness.
I did what my coach told me and I got results (read: more money). But I didn’t get what I actually wanted and needed, which was personal fulfillment with a side of more money. I didn’t get what I thought I was buying, which was for someone to help me see what I wanted and support me in moving forward with that. For a while, I honestly felt taken advantage of.
How could I give someone all that money, and yet come out more unhappy than ever? Turns out I paid 3 G’s to find out that no matter how much money I made doing that business, it was never going to fulfill me. I had a much bigger desire and a much bigger purpose. A lesson that eventually turned out to be invaluable.
Now I’m all for learning from mistakes, even one’s I’ve paid for. What was the value in this one? I know firsthand what it’s like to take the wrong road. I’ve also learned how to recognize it in others, and how to tell when what you really want is trying to peek through. That’s why I love what I uncover in my work with women using my Purse Process™. Together we’ll get you on the right track, not always the fastest one, but the one that will get you to the place you actually want to go. And it starts with a handy little assessment tool called your handbag.
So I’m curious? How might my story apply to your life? If you’d like to talk about it drop me a line. I’m at Danielle@PurseProcess.com.
Now Go Play!
Ps. My newsletter is the best way to get access to exclusive information and amazing opportunities going on at The Purse Process™. Sign Up Here!